On the Way Home

You were lying in bed trying to take a nap. But evil thoughts of being in the shower with her popped into your head. So you replaced them with a dream of being with Rumpis.

It started working all too well. You were really warming up, wishing Jon was home.

But he wasn't. Or he was drunk. So you looked in the draw. Damn, all out of batteries.

So you ran to the store for batteries and a snow cone. Deep Cherry flavor.

And on the way back home, you spilled the snow cone on the seat. You didn't want Jon to see, because then you would have to explain why you went to the store.

So you went one of those do it yourself car cleaning places. You bought some cleaning foam, and waited a few minutes for it to set.

Then you put in your coins to start the vacuum. But it was like a jackpot machine, started spitting up coins.

So you took off your bra, stuffed all the coins in. Carried them home.

Right before you pulled on, the druggie next door stumbled in front of your car. You slammed the brakes.

The bra flew onto the floor, coins everywhere.

You left them there. Went into the house. Holding your bra.

Jon was waiting at the door. Saw you with your bra in your hand. "Where the heck have you been?!"

"Honey, it's a long story."