Sleep

Suspended sensory... I close mine eyes...an absence of consciousness fills every corner, nook and cranny of nothingness, unable to sleep..at the same time...all I want is to be enveloped in darkness right now...hurting...thinking...longing to emerse myself in a state of continual hybernation...a constant coma of strawberries and butterflies...I slip down a mushroom and land in a dandelion. Spores disperse like soup at a soup kitchen...lights so bright I'm not sure if they are calling me or if it's my imagination..but he comes in my sleep....so sleep I'll try.

Emotional

Vulnerable....emotional...I throw a penny in the purple wishing well under the willow...only to find that it lands in a hornets nest. I run for my life, but they don't even take chase...am I even alive? I'm breathing but I'm not sure it's oxygen I take in...maybe it's sunshine or rain from the village or Rumpskin...I wipe my eyes, blue paint smears my face, I stick out my tongue and catch a snowflake and another season is gone...life passes before mine eyes...and the phone doesn't ring...why must I be so vulnerable?

Loving What You Do...

One thing is for certain...life is too short.

Do what you love and love what you do.

And if anyone ever gets in the way, put your blinders on and keep pushing forward. Happy is where it's at. Love is where it's at. Loving is living.

Betrayal

Asleep...stuck in a dream of gray matter like jello, it coagulates my brain cells, a feeling of betrayal, uncertainty, treachery and remorse...mine eyes are clouded by judgement when I'm no one to judge but it's as if a knife crashed through me like a wave of revolution, it disgusts me, tortured and stoned by a beast of burden, playing with the devil the angel did try to help only to have her wings sliced away like an afterthought, an alleged betrayal, pinned on my flesh...a martyr maybe...a victim most certainly...guilty in a sense, but only a passionate sincere inaccuracy, a miniscule mistake, one that would harbor the catalyst for  upheaval...it's no wonder death comes so easy in the night over a simple slip of the keyboard, fingers thinking faster than thoughts, racing for resistance but impatience is the devil that I should've slayed had I known the pain and anguish, the multitude and irony of ONE miscalculation...never good with numbers I was...but pity on the soul that should carry such seeded karma.

Waiting

Life flashing before my eyes, scenary moving so fast, seasons changing, geese flying south for the winter, storms raging off the coast, yet still, I wait. It's all a dream or is it...a small light in my imagination fighting to shine through the gray matter..it's like pseudo-stratified columnar epithelium struggling to breathe fresh air...wanting...waiting...on a dimension in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them...all controlled by time itself. Wishing and hoping...like the flow of sand in an hourglass ...and the elapsed time between the past and the future. Mine eyes fall on my cell phone..then back on the script I'm writing...then on my email inbox...then back to my phone..my head hurts so bad but in all the pain, his voice would make it vanish...and the pain would be pleasure...dreams would be reality if only for a few minutes...an anwer to my prayers that this gut twisting pain would cease. His voice alone is like a vasodilator which relieves tension and eases the painful stimuli....but until then, in pain...
...I wait.

The Storm

Astronomical atmosphere, greyish black, hot air rising, a creation of nature yet to be reckoned with...Power to move mountains, turn pastures into lakes, swallowing up land and people in its path. As damaging as a monstrous storm may be, it is performing a cleansing. Yin and Yang, a perfect mixture of good and evil, and one must wonder if there is a God when they are caught in the middle of the perfect storm. Respect nature and all her fury.

The Hardest Time

The hardest times are those times when I'm alone. Lost in my thoughts...passion...lust for things I want but do not have...cannot have...like a prisoner locked away in a small cell...a dark cell...deprived of touch...love...a love that is equal to mine...a love that would move oceans and create new stars...I sit down to write and thoughts of him consume my mind...sometimes it's as if I'm possessed or if I've lived in a former life bound to this person...something there that draws me...and I can fight it ...the urge..the passion...most times....

But not when I'm alone. It's the hardest time.