HiM

Molten...fabricated...welded into my heart...a permanent pulsing through my veins...I eat..I breath...I drink...I think... of him. Like the dew on the daisy...the sun in the morning...on the wings of a dragonfly I dip through the garden...hovering above meticulous landscape...I soar to the trees..just an ounce of forest scattered about...I dream and I doubt...and I sit and I wait...hoping and praying until I get a glimpse...a breath...a whiff... of him. Day and night, through feast and flight, visiting at the grayest of sight...I dance on a dime...until comes a time...because money is nothing without monetary gain and fame and fortune and bullshit to boot. Living and dying...loving and crying...emotions like a death scream, a quick beam when the cream of the crop off the top of a frothy layer of bubbles, I slide under the mass...and sift through the stubble...in the dark of night...no more I fight...but let them in....forever dreams never end...all for someone I can't see, can't touch, can't have, but I don't stop ....ever...thinking of ....HiM. He is my heart.

A Candle in a Coffee Tin

When all else is gone...dark takes the light...alone and frozen cold...in the cold hell of night...comes a man in a cloak...his eyes warm as the sun...don't give up my child...your life is not yet done...he says with a sound so true to my heart...failing...thumping...dumping...anew...go run in the forest...fly with the fairy...lick the shimmering honey suckle morning dew...your a forever soul he told me so straight and so clear...I almost believed him even though he was queer...Come hither my little druid...and bring your coffee tin...it isn't without a candle...for it was left by your kin...your grandmother Marion K...new you'd come around...and pick up your quill and paper...without a sigh or sound...she called me from the grave to bring you a little light...that you may keep writing...throughout the wee wee night...

I can hear her words of wisdom...each time I yield my pen...And I'll carry her never ending candle...in her coffee tin.

Nana...I miss you so so very much.

ThE LaSt MiNuTe

When the last minute doth come...
And my breath, just a ghost...
To you I owe my heart...
For it's you that mattered most....

Muffled Song

Sullen faces on a dirty subway car,

a muffled song from nearby headphones,

a passenger absorbed in the music,

eyes closed and rocking to the beat,

echoes of words that cannot be heard,

voices that cry out from another world.

 

And there are other worlds,

for those that dare to listen,

muffled is their noise to us,

but a taste within our grasp,

if only we take time to listen.

By Kevin Lenihan

Tis The Holiday Season

Blinded by green thistles that stick me and tickle...mine eyes shine gold and silver from trinkets so fickle...I slide down the tinsel like angel hair pasta...purple ponies and ballerinas dance aramatsa...A time of the year where a collision of feelings...seep from beneath even the plum and orange peelings...sour and sweet...bitter and crabby...family and friends both smooth and the scabby...snow flakes finally welcome...no shoveling this day...just papers and bows and with toys we play...love remembered...love forgotten...love never ever begotten...tears of joy and sadness, green mushrooms that are rotten...in the forest where I live time will never stand still...it's a circle of life with my wine and my pill...the frogs and the feathers, the elves and the fairy...the beautiful and edible, the poisonous doll's eye baneberry...but the singing from above from the angels is reason... to draw me out of the forest this holiday season.  

Alone

Alone in a time warp. 

I'm present, but am I really here at all.

Longing to talk to the one that can make me smile.

When a smile is nonexistent. 

53

The Sixteenth prime, love on a dime,

living, flying, dreaming, dying...

Time flies like a dandelion on it's way to neverland,

But somewhere over the rainbow time stands still, and dreams really do come true,

Lovers and thistles all baby blue in the same shoe, when time stands still,

And dreams come true.  

The Queen of Night

The Queen of Night,

with hands of snow,

shelters the Light,

from Winter's woe.

She warms the seeds,

of color and bloom,

denies her own needs,

a new world within her womb. 

by The BartendeR

Guardians of Light

Behold the Guardians of Light,

who under the conquering armies of gray,

shelter color within the night,

and protect til the return of day.

by The BartendeR 

BeAuTiFuL DyNaMiTe

Emotions screaming after me like a dark demented shadow...increasing in size...gaining on me...I cannot escape the thoughts that swirl around like lava in a lava lamp laced with hate and jealousy...I bolt from the seepage...emission spurting from faucets of infinite incarceration... A tongue as sharp as a razor lest I cut it off...tick tock...a ticking time bomb waiting to explode in enmeshed enigma...sliding down a knife trimming the Tarweed that sticks to negative cognition like two people split by a ginormous lightning bolt..the frustration...I run faster and faster and shut my eyes...an explosion like erosion consuming every cell of good and love until nothing's left but a darkness that doesn't diminish even in the surest of sunlight...but the fight isn't finished...with a perfect piston of nitroglycerin...I unwrap a short stick...crystals like the Emerald City welcome mine eyes like magic...a warning...a danger but not more dangerous than a thistled thought capable of crushing a carcinogen...With one strike of a match...I wrap myself around the short stick...casting it into the blackness that's in my bosom...

I close mine eyes...and wait for the light...the explosion...the rebirth..from this beautiful dynamite.

PLaStiC PrISoN

Like medicine bound by a plastic capsule, I struggle to breath...
Never knowing which breath is the last...but the last breath could be the beginning...
Out of the capsule, I fly like a dandelion blowing in the wind, drifting on a cloud feather for a night or a year...A whisper in my ear...is it death who calls my name...that only I'm to blame...for wishing and dreaming is supposed to be upon stars, not broken hearts in jars...I let the sharp bite into the flesh and the crimson and clover feels warmer than any arms can bind me...lest they shackle me...and I race from the prison...the captive so near, like a voice in ear...could it be death?

The Walk

I walked along a lightless swamp, sat on a moss covered log, and contemplated a way out of the deepest part of the forest. I must have sat there a long time, for when I was ready to move on, I noticed that roots had grown around my legs and I too was covered in green moss....
...but I was never alone. 
by The Bartender

A New Day

A new day will dawn

when the colors will bleed back into the white flag

A sun will rise

over the gray dawn of tyranny's night

A trumpet will sound

and stir the hearts of free men

A flag again filled with color

red white and blue.

by The Bartender...

DyNaMiTe

DyNaMiTe

Emotions screaming after me like a dark demented shadow...increasing in size...gaining on me...I cannot escape the thoughts that swirl around like lava in a lava lamp laced with hate and jealousy...I bolt from the seepage...emission spurting from faucets of infinite incarceration...Why can't the bitch just leave him alone? A tongue as sharp as a razor lest I cut it off...tick tock...a ticking time bomb waiting to explode in enmeshed enigma...sliding down a knife trimming the Tarweed that sticks to negative cognition like two people split by a ginormous lightning bolt..the frustration...I run faster and faster and shut my eyes...an explosion like erosion consuming every cell of good and love until nothing's left but a darkness that doesn't diminish even in the surest of sunlight...but the fight isn't finished...with a perfect piston of nitroglycerin...I unwrap a short stick...crystals like the Emerald City welcome mine eyes like magic...a warning...a danger but not more dangerous than a thistled thought capable of crushing a carcinogen...With one strike of a match...I wrap myself around the short stick...casting it into the blackness that's in my bosom...

I close mine eyes...and wait for the light...the explosion...the rebirth..from this beautiful dynomite.

A Birthday Poem for Me

Across oceans of azure and thresholds of golden light,

searching, always searching, for the visions of night,

timeless time ago, had she set out on her quest,

to find the well of ideas, without which she would not rest,

she came upon a land of creatures strange and queer,

and journeyed far and wide, until at last did appear,

a great and noble wizard, to whom she posed her query,

“I seek the well of ideas, and the magical creatures merry,

who bring them into form, if it’s not too much to ask”,

the great and noble wizard, was ready for the task,

he led her to a mirror, and teased her about the fuss,

and said her search was over, because “you are one of us”.

By Kevin Lenihan

BeAuTiFuL DiSaStEr

A cataclysmic car crash in my sensitive subconscious. Psychedelic splash of love against my pale flesh dripping down like rain. Tears. Wet smiles just the same. I flirt with disaster like it's a routine trip to Starbucks knowing that one day I won't come out of the dark forest, but it's the gray matter that I'm bound up in like tingling taffy pulling, stretching, until one day I snap. To be or not to be..that's the question. I wait on the cosmic cocktail to take effect like cotton filling up my ears and clouds mine eyes. It gets blacker and blacker through the rippling rainbow I dive into a devastating race...of time or stillness...like a reflection on the wailing water, it wobbles with a weakness I know all too well. Screams from within...they are calling me like the morning dew...a mantra of monotony lost dreaming of lapping up sweet bee honey. Hysteria consumes my cliff-notes and I cannot think without a brain cell to swim on..alkaline...acid...non beating...rapid...it flashes before me like a black and white movie...from the darkness I run...faster and faster...but then stop and turn back...I'm a beautiful disaster.

Love to all deserving. You know who you are.  

StUcK

Stuck...statuesque in a traumatic time warp...safe-- tucked away from a smile in the sun of the sacrificial lamb...bleeding but undying...screaming only to be silenced by the summoner of a simpler time....sleep where are you when I cry for darkness...I fall on deaf ears like a needle in a haystack of hateful harlots...scraping...scratching...clawing the clandestine dreams from my amygdala...I run with reassurance only to slip down a cyclopoid...fruitful fear illuminates like the morning sun that never comes...why can't I break free from the fabliaux???

Cindafuckingrella

Midnight comes like a moth to a flame...It comes faster than a freight train speeding through my existence...
Busting through a bee sting nonexistent of a stinger...but a thorn shall thrive in my side forever foregoing a pain that doesn't die but lingers like a listless ghost in the night...
The clock nears that naked number when the dawn meets the dew...when the one meets the two and the grandfather strikes dead right...and it's midnight...
There are no minutes left to run for cover...but that slipper he won't recover...because I'm not deserving of even a daisy...
No prince should want a petty princess...not even one with a fucking glass shoe...
But the clock doesn't wait...the coach is nothing but a pumpkin waiting to be smashed against the baking asphalt and the steed nothing but mice...creatures of the night... varmints  without garments....
And the fucking fairy tale was a lie...there is no prince coming. Grow up girl.

LoSt In tHe NiGhT

Where am I when I don't know the beginning or end...the left or the right....
Lost in the lilies like a leprechaun looking for lipstick....
I slide down a rainbow into a pot of night...only to be infused with darkness...
That envelopes me like the lover that never did....
Drowning in a sea of sequins...at least I'll die with delight...if only I could see the night...
And sleep forever til morning never comes.

My Immortal

His Special Day

I've always been one that could do as she pleases....do for others...spend money like there wasn't any end...but now all I want to do it make his special day special and I have nothing but me...and I'm nothing at all...if only I could conjure up something equivocal...a man who deserves the moon and stars...a man who deserves the fairest of the fair...the lovingest of the loving...and it eats my soul to know he sits alone...and that I can't show him how wonderful he truly is. 

pRoTeCtIoN

Protection from direction...left.... right longing to conquer both directions on the same subway...
Blinded by the light...but what is light when it is dark...and what is dark when it is a damsel in distress...
Captured...chained away from daylight...daring to break the restraints of relevance...when I know nothing....
But something...a brain running on burlap...sewing a series of Sabbaths on Sunday...Sanitize the schemers....
Fashion like a vagabond strolling through  a holy village of Harbingers...
Roxanne put on your red light..because men will be like dogs...wolves..ravenous...rendition of rebels....
I cry but there are no tears...how can there be any tear drops when the devil's called for dawn....
He calls but I'm not afraid...not of darkness...not of fire...bring it on I say.

DaMaGeD GoOdS

Not worthy of a Saltine cracker so shocking that one could be worthy of wormwood....
Burning and stoning...I carry the load of many...beg to take the brunt of the sword for samaritans...
That one day someone will step on me and look down...
Notice the mold that covers the forest...protects mother earth...
Nothing but needed...Careless but comforting...alive...but dead again...
No one even knows I exist...it's like a realm of relativity...
Only to know what goes up must come down...
And if only I could have one breath of him.

Insurrection

Insurrection paces through my veins like a salmon swimming  upstream....
Disobedience through disbelief of direction...I want to scream death take me...
Deserving of nothingness....lazy...no good....loser of lullabies...a waste not even recycleable....
A beautiful disaster that doesn't deserve death itself...
And then there's daisies...and butterflies...and spiders...beautiful in their own rite...
But I long to stay in my cocoon...away from pestilence and presence....
Why must I live when I don't want to love anymore?
To do one without the other is no life at all.

Confidence or Lack Of....

Dwelling on the negative consequences is like sliding down a razor blade...a splinter in my fingernail...like a spider in my eye...I run for the dark forest but time is running faster than I...Failure illuminates my night... the potential of righteous failure riding upon me like a fat slab I can't shake...fleeing from the frostbite...death like daffodils...the noisy conversion of objective observation into subjective judgement...like a roller coaster speeding out of control...I tip the scales and success is only a mindset away....sleep is going to be scarce tonight as the scarlett crimson makes a visit...drain as it may..it drains out of me like a tornado over a tombstone....I know a rainbow is forever hiding but I long to find it...somewhere...it's there..emerald brick yellow...the land of the munchkins and towering tree frogs....oh how I long to say goodnight....
forever...so that ever never comes....

Hurting

Hurting...pain like a load of rocks...
When will it stop?

Bent

A constant state of tension, a calm before the storm...
Sleep is extinct on a fearless feather I float into a sea of darkness...
Only to hate that bright light..Ray-Bans...Oaks...shade mine eyes...
What has thou done to deserve such trepidatious torture to torment my days, hours, seconds...
I grow tired of fighting a beast that can't be beat...yet it's hard for a giver to give up...
If only I could slip away in that perfect cuddle...
...then scream out in strength once again...I am not broken...I'm only bent.

Pixie

Eyes like charcoal...coat like silk....
The size of an ant with the attitude of a lion...
Slick...cunning...fearless...she is precious even with her horns....
She loves the birds..the beach..the forest....
She is life....love...a friend....a fan...a companion....
My heart...my dreams...my baby....
I love my Pixie Pear....

Safe Place

Like a giant Rorschach ink blot, dark clouds swallowed up the silky sky...
Dodging lightning bolts, I ran through a righteous romp of wildflowers...
And then it came down, droplets of green jello singing joyous gems...
Mine eyes were like diamonds in the sky and there was no Lucy in sight...
But the dark forest was just ahead...a wall of verdant vegetation like the Emerald City....
I picked up speed...closed mine eyes...and prayed that it would allow me...a penitent...to permeate...
Full blast ahead, I slapped my palms together dogmatic decorum, and leapt with unequivocal force...
And to my astonishment, it accepted me like an old friend, into the dark forest I disappeared...
A place of mystery...hidden yet naked...safe but vulnerable...yet it felt right....

Dizzy Days

Dizzy daisy, head spinning, swimming, my skull as light as air...
Driving in a whirlwind feeling as if my axis is in revolution....
As if I lay down after a drunken college night...the world turns....
Numbness down my neck, my arms, tingling in my phalanges...
Vertigo maybe...who knows...but it's not going to stop a train...
Not until the last puff a steam whistles through my spout.....
Blood pressure non existant then skyhigh...am I dead or alive....
Maybe this is a dream...or an illusion and I'm not even typing this....

Go away dizzy days! I banish you! ;)

Time In A Bull Horn

Time ticks away like the heart beating in my chest...
Forever or no more it struggles to keep the rhythm but screams for another second...
Sickness consuming my breath like a ghost materializing over a sea of sunshine...
Under a full moon, I look to the stars and ponder creation and reincarnation....
The wheels turn for now until the bump in the road swells too deep...
Inpassable...unjumpable...redelivering me from the womb like a meteor on a mission....
My soul never slows but my flesh is tired...my lungs burn...my head is swimming...
Like a tadpole on a turnip green floating in a pond of prawns...
If only I could hear his voice...I might just live another day.....

Goodnight world.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Now I lay me down to sleep...
For what I sew I hope I reap...

If morning comes before I wake...
Give him Nicholls for heaven's sake...

And take my life so swift and fast....
For in this pain I cannot last....

I close my eyes and enter the door...
To death for life I'll live no more....

by dena mckinnon

My Unicorn

For twas a night so swift and sweet,
The dawn danced for the dew.
Trees frolicked to fairy bells,
Take heed this story tis true.

I bowed before my animal guide,
In spirit and in rest.
His body so strong, his will so deep,
I knew I got the best.

My journey he said will be long and hard,
But worthy it'll be in the end.
Just grab my tail and follow my hooves,
Until we reach the spirit realm.

I followed him into and through the night,
Under a full moon dusted in pink.
He was my protection, lover and friend,
Even in quicksand, I couldn't sink.

Along the way the reaper called and broke my heart in two,
For I'm not ready, I can't leave him here, I do not want to go.
The shadow grew close and swallowed me up, killed my beloved unicorn,
I wasn't going, though death it would chance as I flung myself onto his horn.

by dena mckinnon

InTiMaTe EnIgMa

An overlapping of feelings,
Internal thoughts amplified,
I wage a war in my own silence,
Living, doing for everyone but myself,
I grow tired with weakness,
Weary wakefulness,
The bathing light fades to gray,
Matter isn't matter,
And what matters doesn't exist,
But when the light goes out,
Will I find rest?
Can I lay down beside him,
Sleep forever and forever sleep,
Insomnia go fuck yourself,
Levitate to a new dimension,
A renaissance of retribution, redemption,
None other will devour the devoted,
Cling to the coward and suck from its tit,
Darkness dwells outside like death at dawn's door...
But she hangs in the balance,
Waxing...waning...until one day She Is No More.

LoVe

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

Cogito Ergo Sum

I slip into fairy state...push blades of grass aside as I make my way to the forest...that which my eyes see of grass is large, vibrant green, lush plantlife....a colorful mushroom catches mine eye...I reach out and touch it but it isn't there...it was there though because I saw it...but did I see or perceive it or is it even real at all...perception of a reflection off my retina that which is an object but how could it be an object unless it was a thought..and how could it be a thought if it wasn't a perception...and that today may not be like tomorrow ...must I ignore the distractions of sensory perception when I can reach out and stroke it myself...and what is knowledge anyway..is it only perception? And is anything real if we don't want it to be? How can anything exist outside of my perception? What if I'm not even real but just a bundle of energy with ideas...shooting off like stars do as they die in the galaxy?

A question to ponder....

SpAwN

A song, a seed drifting amongst a dragon's breath...a migration of spirit through past, present and future...into a realm of parallel accordance where my days are my nights, my nights are like the sky covered by a veil of opportunity so gossameer that life or death could seep through and rot a whimsical delusion of my very existence .